50 is the new 40. But what happens if you don’t feel like that?

Social media is full of 50 and Fabulous, Flirty 50s, 50 is the new 40. But what happens if you don’t feel like that?

Your kids are flying the nest, you’re on your own and your face is inexorably slipping south. Things aren’t where they once were and the mirror is very definitely not your friend.

You don’t need to wear Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, because your age has rendered you fully invisible 100% of the time.

I can hear the nodding of 1000s of heads with jowls flapping and turkey gizzard necks wobbling.

No-one said ageing was fun, but when your face on the outside, doesn’t match the twenty-something you on the inside, when you avoid mirrors to the extent that people are worried you’ve a vampire living in your house, your mind wanders, wondering if having some ‘work’ done is the answer.

My first thought was no, no, no; I don’t want to look like Kim Kardashian and I definitely don’t want to join the ranks of the middle-aged hamster faces with their be-fillered pillow cheeks squeezing their eyes into little slits and their ludicrous lips entering the room before them.

No, no, I don’t want to look like I’ve had work done but I would really love to be more me.

So, I’m going on a journey, ugh that word! But, I really am; I’m going to see if after bringing two boys up single-handedly, I can do something for me to make looking in the mirror, less painful and to make the outer me, match the inner me.

I’m going to make an appointment at Renew to #bemoreme.

The Consultation

So, I arrive at Renew for my consultation and I’m scared. Places like this scare me, I imagine them to be full of the women who work behind make-up counters.

Foundation so thick you can write your name in it and brows so botoxed you can’t tell what they’re thinking.

I’m pleasantly surprised. Kelly ushers me into her room and she looks normal! If she’s had ‘work’ done then it’s so subtle that I can’t tell, she seems to have hardly any make-up on and she’s just nice and normal. I’m surprised, she’s definitely not what I’d imagined.

I tell her how I’m so embarrassed by my turkey neck that I constantly wear a scarf. That my eye brows are slithering into my eye sockets and that looking in the mirror is really not an option for me.

I find myself pouring out all sorts to her, especially my fear of ending up looking like a hamster and no longer looking anything like me at all. I’ve seen it, women I know who’ve become women I don’t know due to the ‘work’ and I don’t want that for me.

Kelly actually agrees! She tells me that she often says ‘no’ to women’s requests for more cheek fillers, more lip fillers, and more Botox, I listen and I realise this woman loves what she does, and what she does is make women more them; not a ‘new you’ just a younger you and I can feel my anxiety quieten, I realise I’ve been tensed from my toes to my head and now I can relax, maybe this isn’t going to be so bad after all!

Kelly takes photos of my face and neck and if I’m honest I really can’t look at them, 12 years of standing on football and rugby touchlines in the rain and bitter cold have left their mark and I just don’t want to look.

I can see she gets me, feels what I’m feeling, and wants to help.

She takes a machine to my long crepey turkey neck, ‘is this too hot, does it hurt’ she asks, ‘no, I had two kids with only gas and air’ I reply, thinking even if it did I’d do anything to get rid of this crepey, saggy abomination!

Kelly looks and decides that the RF machine it is not the answer for me and I’m happy to go with what she’s suggesting.

Fillers here and there, a touch of Botox and not a new face, but a friendly face I remember from the past…me.

So, I’m to begin my journey in 10 days and strangely, I can’t wait!!

#bemoreme